Why Does God Care About My Sex Life?
Sex has often been treated as taboo in the church. Sex is something people do, but by no means should anyone talk about it. EVER. Unless, of course, it is to degrade those who misuse it. Yet, when diving into the canon of Scripture, we find that sex is presented as something good, holy, and deeply purposeful. God’s design for sex is not arbitrary or merely biological—it reflects a greater, eternal reality. The biblical boundaries around sexual activity exist not because sex is vile, but because it is valuable. As John Piper observes, “You don’t put fences around weeds; you put fences around gardens.” So, let’s briefly explore God’s design for sex and how the church should respond in our cultural moment.
The Purpose of Sex
To find the purpose of sex, we begin in Genesis, where the foundations of design and creation are first established. At the very beginning of the Bible, we are introduced to God as the Creator, and everything else—including humanity—is revealed as His creation. The opening verse declares: “In the beginning, GOD…” (Gen. 1:1)
From this first verse, the reader is forced to acknowledge a foundational truth: God is the Creator, and we are His creation. He is the one who brings all things into existence, and within that act of creation, He forms humanity. As part of that divine process, before God invents man, He makes a significant declaration,
“Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:26-27, NIV)
From these first few verses, a few observations can be made:
1) God is community in and of Himself (Let US make man in OUR own image)
2) Humans are made in His image and likeness
3) We are given dominion over the earth
4) He made us male and female
Additionally, these verses outline:
·God, who exists in eternal community, is the Creator—and I am not.
·I was created to bear His image and reflect His likeness.
·My role is to steward all that belongs to Him, faithfully.
In Genesis chapter 2, after the creation of humanity, the narrative zooms into the creative process and details God’s invention of marriage, saying,
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25, ESV)
Based on this definition, God’s definition, marriage must consist of these elements:
1) Both individuals must be human.
2) They must come from separate family lines.
3) They must be of opposite sexes.
4) Marriage is to be a covenant between one man and one woman exclusively.
Marriage as a Picture
Before civilization existed—or even the foundational structures that would give rise to it—God invented marriage. It is essential, then, that we take a moment to reflect on and define the purpose of this sacred union.
Many have observed that the Bible can rightly be described as a book about marriage. It opens with a wedding in the Garden of Eden and concludes with the marriage supper of the Lamb in Revelation. Between those bookends, the theme of covenantal love—faithful, enduring, self-giving—is central to the story God is telling. Marriage, then, is not incidental; it is profoundly significant to God. It serves as a living illustration of His relationship with His people. Paul, in instructing on Christian marital conduct, writes,
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:25-32, ESV)
Marriage is the building block of the family, which is the building block of society. Yet, though vitally important for society and all that is practical, the sacred nature of marriage is more than logistical. It is deeply symbolic. The husband represents Jesus; the wife represents the church. Any affront to this covenant is an affront to the eternal union we as Christians hold most dear. Before we can address the purpose of sex, we must understand the context in which sex is to be enjoyed. That context is sacred, spiritual, and points to a greater eternal reality.
Returning to Genesis, it is only within the context of marriage that sex is finally introduced in the phrase” one flesh.” The narrative arc of creation demonstrates that sex can only fulfill its God designed purpose within the context of God’s design. Just as we are to steward creation as a gift from God, so we are to steward sex as a gift from God. God places the stewardship of sex firmly within the confines, the protective custody of marriage, which is a covenant between one man and one woman for life. We must keep sex within its created context.
What is Sex For?
Within the biblical narrative, sex serves four primary purposes.
Procreation
God gave humans the ability and mandate to reproduce. God loves the family; the family is His invention, the foundation on which society is built.
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” (Genesis 1:28, NIV)
2. Unity
The late pastor and theologian Tim Keller wrote,
“Sexual intimacy for a married couple is like a sacrament. It’s doing with our bodies what we have promised to do with our whole lives.”[1]
The unity formed through sexual intimacy within the marriage covenant is expressed spiritually, relationally, and biologically.
a) Relationally
In Genesis 2, God establishes the purpose of marriage as a profound, covenantal union between a man and a woman. The text says, “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”—a phrase that conveys not just physical intimacy, but emotional, spiritual, and relational oneness. Sexual union, in this context, is designed to bond two people together in the deepest possible way, reflecting the lifelong commitment and unity intended in marriage. Sex says, “I am yours, I have nothing to hide” physically.
b) Spiritually
In the act of sex, a spiritual union takes place. Sex is not just body on body but spirit on spirit. Paul writes to the church in Corinth, confronting their misuse of sex, saying,
Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. (1 Corinthians 6:15-17, ESV)
c) Biologically
Of all the biological functions humans are capable of, reproduction is the only one that cannot be done alone—each of us possesses only half of the reproductive system, which finds its full expression only in union with the opposite sex. This physical design points to a deeper relational and physiological reality: during sexual intimacy, the body releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with bonding and trust. Remarkably, oxytocin is also released during childbirth and nursing. This highlights that sex is not merely physical but profoundly relational, designed to strengthen emotional connection and commitment biologically.
3. Marital Pleasure
God is a God of pleasure and joy. He invented pleasure, including sexual pleasure, as a gift to humanity. In fact, God is more committed to our joy than we are and understands us better than we understand ourselves. Because of that, He has given us a defined sexual ethic rooted in how we were created to flourish. There is an entire book in the Bible that celebrates the pleasure, joy, and profound oneness found in a God-ordained marriage—and that includes sexual intimacy. The Song of Solomon speaks clearly and without shame about the beauty and delight of sex within the proper context of covenantal love. This book is about the beauty, passion, and sacred intimacy of marriage, and throughout its verses, we see the rich pleasure God intended to be enjoyed within that context.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11, ESV)
C.S. Lewis, in his masterpiece, The Screwtape Letters, describes this truth. The book imagines an elder demon mentoring a younger demon on how best to thwart the plans of God. In one dialogue, Screwtape, the elder statesman, states,
Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s [God’s] ground... He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees which He has forbidden.[2]
4. To Reflect the Pleasure in Knowing Jesus
If the grand narrative of the Bible is ultimately about humanity being united with its true Groom, Jesus Christ, then sex in this life serves as a foretaste of a much greater pleasure yet to come. It is a physical and emotional experience designed to point beyond itself—to a spiritual reality that will be fully realized when we see Jesus face to face. In this sense, sexual intimacy is not merely about personal fulfillment but functions as a type—a symbolic preview—of the eternal union between Christ and His people.
Within that sacred covenant, sex has a unique and powerful role. It is a signpost pointing toward the ultimate joy, intimacy, and oneness that will only be fully realized in the presence of Christ.
“The ultimate reason (not the only one) why we are sexual is to make God more deeply knowable. The language and imagery of sexuality are the most graphic and powerful that the Bible uses to describe the relationship between God and his people—both positively (when we are faithful) and negatively (when we are not.)” [3]
John Piper
“God created us in his image, male and female, with personhood and sexual passions, so that when he comes to us in this world, there would be these powerful words and images to describe the promises and the pleasures of our covenant relationship with him through Christ.” [4]
John Piper
God designed sex to serve as a reflection of the joy, pleasure, and fulfillment found in a relationship with Him. While it functions as a powerful bond between husband and wife in this life, it ultimately points to a greater marriage—the union between Christ and His people—where true and everlasting fulfillment will be fully realized. Within the Christian framework, sex should be viewed as holy, incredible, and deeply symbolic. We hold a high view of sex; we protect it because it is sacred, and boundaries are put around it because it is worthy of our honor. God cares about your sex life because He cares about you. He designed sex and has a plan for its use. When we submit to God’s design, we can step into flourishing.
[1] Timothy Keller, “Love and Lust,” sermon, Gospel in Life, accessed July 30, 2025, https://reformedevangelist.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-transcription-of-tim-kellers-love-and.html.
[2] C. S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters (New York: HarperOne, 2001), 44.
[3] John Piper, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2005), 26.
[4] Piper, Sex and the Supremacy of Christ, 29-30.
